From A 20 Something to a 30 Something
There’s something about being in my third decade of life that makes me want to level up. It feels like I was just 18 years old on Mizzou’s campus trying to figure out life. Then at home with my papa in my 20s living in the moment. A lot has changed in the last decade from my dress size to my wardrobe, to my spending habits. I am sharing my story in the hopes of inspiring you to live better, bolder, and more confidently.
Friendship
My friendships have changed a lot in the last decade. I have learned to spend time and energy on people who are honest, loyal, like to have a good time, and genuinely happy for me when good things happen to me. The biggest shift in friendship has been my willingness to make new friends. When I was younger, I did not believe in new friends. Now that I’m 31 I understand that God brings people into my life for various reasons and seasons. It is okay to connect with new people, and it’s okay to close the door to friendships that I have outgrown.
Questions to ask yourself about friendship:
Is this person someone who adds positivity, happiness, and/or growth to my life?
Do I enjoy this person’s company?
Beauty Maintenance
Beauty changes have been drastic in the last couple of years. In my 20s I was an acrylic nail girl and DIY kitchen beautician. I spent my time and money being cheap with beauty products and inconsistent with professional services. However, when I started to make more money in my late 20s and got married, I began to heavily invest in my beauty maintenance. Now I consider beauty maintenance a personal investment. I enjoy my trips to the hair and nail salon, and getting my various waxes. It was also important to me to get laser hair removal for my stubborn PCOS facial hair.
Things to consider when it comes to beauty maintenance:
Which services do I enjoy having done?
Which salons and beauty professionals best fit into my lifestyle and budget?
How often do I need to get this service?
Self-Image
My 20s were rough. I was always confident in my smarts and abilities but not always in my physical appearance. In my 20s, I was diagnosed with PCOS and prediabetes. Those diagnoses caused me to be depressed and gained over 60 pounds in just four years. I was devastated when I started to gain weight and honestly stopped loving fashion. Going from a size 8 to a size 12 in just a few years was crushing. However, in my late 20s, I started to invest in my wardrobe again. I still enjoy some fast fashion, but make it a point to buy nice jewelry, handbags, and shoes. Now that I am 31 I find it very important to look like the beautiful boss that I am.
Self-image reflections:
What am I doing to pour into my cup?
What things positively and negatively impact the way that I view myself?
Am I keeping up with my doctor’s visits? Therapy?
Marriage
We got married young. I was 26 years old and Steven was only my second serious boyfriend in adulthood. I looked at marriage as spending hours together, having sex, and praying. I did not understand the importance of being a homemaker. In my 20s it was all about what he could do for me, and how I could serve him in a traditional sense. But as I grew older, I now understand that marriage is about loving him the way that he wants to be loved and respecting his wishes. I can invest in my marriage by keeping our house clean, organized, smelling good, and stress-free. Marriage is not always 50-50, but it is truly what you make it. We are in a groove now and I can’t believe we’ve been married almost 5 years.
Things to consider when it comes to marriage/relationships:
What are my partner’s love languages?
How can I be a better partner?
How can I maintain the excitement of this relationship?
Money
Money, money, money… when I was in my 20s I was very frivolous with spending but cheap at the same time. I wasted a lot of money on fast fashion, fake nails, food alcohol, and I don’t even know what else. I did invest in my 401(k) in my 20s, but saving my money was not important. It wasn’t until I turned 30 last year that I began to truly desire to get out of debt AND save money. My husband and I have been saving together since we got married but I was not saving or investing any of my funds for a rainy day, something changed last year and now I can probably say we are so close to being consumer debt-free and continuing to save. My biggest piece of advice when it comes to saving and spending is to think long-term.
Money reflections:
What is my savings goal for this year? Next two years?
Are there any big investments that I need to make?
Am I up-to-date on my personal and business taxes?
Ps. What has changed for you in the last decade? Are there any huge shifts you’ve made since entering your 30s?